Married forever, or not

The issue of marriage and divorce seems to be a very delicate subject in Catholic circles. Fortunately for us, Mrs. Poolman and I have been married just once and to each other for 33 years, so we haven’t had to deal with the issue personally. Officially, the Church doesn’t recognize divorce. However, there are plenty of divorced Catholics out there. I see them receiving and distributing the Eucharist at Mass on Sundays. And again, fortunately, I’ve never needed to figure out exactly how that whole annulment thing is supposed to work.

Although, I don’t have personal experience with divorce, I do encounter the issue from time to time. As I mentioned before, I have been teaching 5th grade CCD (religion) classes at our church for the past four years. The 5th grade curriculum deals primarily with the seven sacraments and the Ten Commandments, with a few side excursions towards the Apostles’ Creed, the story of Creation and other material. You would think this would be fairly harmless, vanilla religious material. Mostly that’s true, but….

10-commandmentsOne of the seven sacraments is matrimony and we cover the Church’s teachings on the institution. Also, among the Commandments is that “Thou shalt now commit adultery.”  (“No, young 10-year old, adultery isn’t something that adults do. Or, well, maybe it sometimes is.”)

There is hardly a child there who doesn’t have a friend or a family member affected by a divorce. Some of the students’ parents are divorced themselves. So the challenge is to teach the Church’s views on marriage without seeming to condemn the students’ parents, relatives, family friends, or whomever.

Knowing this can be a touchy issue, I always let the parents know that we will be covering this subject, and ask them to advise me if there is a family situation of which I should be aware. I have already heard from one divorced and remarried mom who is concerned how we would treat marriage and divorce in class. We will talk before we get close to that chapter.

Interestingly, the Gospel this past Sunday was directly on-point to the Church’s position. In Mark 10:2-12 Jesus is asked directly about divorce.

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Not much ambiguity there.

Our pastor was presented with a very teachable moment, but, for whatever reason, decided not to pursue it in his homily (sermon.) Interesting. I wonder what his thinking was.

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3 responses to “Married forever, or not

  1. I have unfortunately experienced divorce first hand and it is terrible. God hates divorce because it hurts so many of us that He loves so much.

    I write a blog about how men can better love their wives and make their marriage great. I hope you will check it out when you have a chance.

    http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com

    Thanks,

  2. I heard a great sermon on the topic of divorce a while ago – at a non-denominational church. I think the pastor addressed it well. He spent a lot of time encouraging… almost begging anyone considering going down the path of divorce to seriously consider working on their marriage through prayer and counseling and faith. In the end, what I remember – and I wish more people would realize – is that even though the Catholic Church teaches that divorce is wrong, God is not Catholic. And God loves us in spite of our flaws. (I don’t think I’m conveying the message very well here, but it was basically “We are all human. We’re going to screw up. But He loves us in spite of the mistakes we’ve made. “)

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