Stick with the other “football”

I am one of the legions of Americans who just don’t get why anyone would want to spend their time watching soccer. I understand it’s a great game to play, but it is deadly dull to watch.

Compare it to basketball, for instance. Imagine an NBA final in which the players played for 90 minutes. Almost every possession resulted in a turnover. The two teams combined took only eight or nine shots, and only three of them were good.

The fans would be throwing hot dogs onto the court and be leaving in droves. But that  pretty much describes a typical World Cup soccer match.

My friend, Craig, says he loves to watch the skills of the tremendous athletes and the amazing things they do with the ball. From watching the game on Saturday, it seems that the most of the time, the amazing athletes were just turning the ball over to the other team.

I do have some suggestions to improve the sport, like anyone cares about my opinion.

1.) Enlarge the size of the goals.

2.) Eliminate the goalie.

3.) Install a shot clock.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for it to happen, just like you shouldn’t hold your breath waiting for someone to score a goal.

5 responses to “Stick with the other “football”

  1. I too am not a fan of ‘metric football’ and find it boring. Then again, basketball doesn’t do anything for me either.
    If we really want to spice soccer up, how about have them play on ice and skates, make the goal, net and playing area much smaller, the projectile small and hard and add massive amounts of legal brutal physical contact.
    Then we’d be at a hockey game and I would would be happy to watch!

    • Great idea! Thanks for stopping by. Your blog is one of my favorites. Keep up the good work. I told my wife about your airline joke on Mr. Weasel. She busted a gut laughing.

  2. Hey Mr Poolman, this comment is completely unrelated to soccer (it’s football!), so I totally understand if it’s going to get ignored… It’s a question really 🙂

    Well, in planning for the July 4th weekend (Savannah is a short drive from Atlanta) I was looking for pictures of how crowded Tybee Island beaches can get. The best Google Images result for “tybee beach crowded” points to your blog, I started reading and really enjoying your write-ups 🙂

    But I digress… I have a question about Tybee beach etiquette – would I be out of line if I setup a tent on the beach? Do people ever do it? Of course during the day, I don’t think city ordinances allow overnight stay… It’s always nice to have some shelter from the sun and my 2-year old could take her nap on the beach… Or do we risk being thrown out by the police?

    I’d really appreciate some coaching from a regular Tybee beachgoer 🙂 Thanks!

    • I have seen tents and other canopies on the beach during the day. I do not believe there is any regulation against it. Here is a link to the “beach rules” page of the City of Tybee Island Web site.

      BTW — The crowds at Tybee depend entirely on the section of the beach. The section around the pier (16th ST) can get crowded. The other areas, less so. The bigger issue is parking. On a weekend, you should definitely be looking for parking before 11 am. There is a lot near the pier. Other areas are street parking.

      Good luck. I hope you enjoy your stay. If I can assist you further, feel free to contact

  3. Thanks! Well, we’re coming over and I’m pretty sure we’ll enjoy our stay. I read the beach rules and they say nothing about “no tents”. In fact, I’m tempted, because they don’t say “no overnight stay” either 🙂

    I think this weekend might be extra crowded, with all the people for whom Gulf coast and Atlantic coast is pretty much same distance (like it is from Atlanta) choosing the Ocean because of the oil slick in the Gulf…

    We’ll have no problem getting there before 11am, the kids and their 7am wake-up call will make sure of that. Thank you again!

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