It may just be time to declare war on squirrels around the Poolman house. As cute as the little demons are, they are starting to get under our skin.
Earlier this year, I had a leak in my car’s windshield washer system. Everytime I refilled the reservoir, the fluid would just come pouring out. I thought maybe I had a broken tube or lose connection. No, said the mechanic. I had squirrels. The suckers had chewed through the plastic tubing.
Did someone say “party?”
This past Saturday, Mrs. Poolman and I went up to the attic to bring down the Christmas decorations. She noticed right away that there was ample evidence of rodents having partied there. (I don’t need to discuss the evidence. It was not pleasant.) Mrs. Poolman immediately began having visions or giant wharf rats taking over her house and sneaking up on her in her sleep to gnaw off her toes. I suggested our problem was probably not rats, but one of their smaller cousins. I have never seen a field mouse, let alone a wharf rat around our hour house or yard. On the other hand, our and the surrounding yards are a paradise for squirrels. There are millions of them out there. I strongly suspect our B&E culprits go by the nickname “Rocky.”
Mrs. Poolman began to make disparaging comments about our “lazy cats” not earning their keep, and threatening to take them up to the attic and leave them there. Sid and Penny were not impressed, and went back to sleep. In defense of our cats, they don’t have access to the attic where the squirrels are. Our daughter, Writer Princes, works for an exterminating company. She will send someone out this week to take care of the unauthorized entry point and whatever party animals have been left behind.
Posted in automobiles, Cats, Life
Tagged attic, car, cats, home, house, Life, pest, rodents, squirrels
I pulled this off of a friend’s Facebook page, so I can claim no credit for it.
Posted in Family, Humor, Life, Relationships
Tagged advice, advice columns, affair, automobile, breakdown, car, clip, Humor, marriage, mechanic, newspaper, Relationships
A woman offer me her child at the grocery store yesterday.
It all started as I was walking out of Publix. There was a woman, pushing a cart, and her 18-24 month old daughter in front of me. As the pair went through the sliding door, the little girl started to take off towards the parking lot. “Mom” grabbed her and placed her in the cart’s child-seat. The little girl started to scream in protest.
“Mom” turned towards me and saw I was laughing. I said, “The great escape has been foiled again.” She shrugged and smiled.
I encounted them again a few minutes later, when I returned my cart to the “cart corral.” “Mom” was strapping the little girl into the back seat of her SUV in the space next to the corral. The little girl was still screaming with an impressive amount of energy and vocal range.
“Mom” shut the door and turned towards me, made a face and put both hands over her ears.
“She is very determined,” I said.
“You want her? You can have her — right here and right now. You can have the car and all the groceries too.”
I thought about it for a second, but I really figured that Mrs. Poolman wouldn’t approve.
Maybe I should have considered it more seriously. Her car was much nicer than mine.
Posted in Babies, Children, Family, Life
Tagged car, cart, child, daughter, Family, gift, grocery store, Life, mom, mother, parenthood, Publix, scream, tantrum