Tag Archives: custody

Sometimes I hate it when I’m right

Mrs. Poolman frequently claims that I am arrogant, opinionated and judgmental. My response, somewhat tongue in cheek, is that it’s not an opinion when I am right. (Ha!)

The subject came up this weekend in the context of a young man who is a contemporary of our children and very well known to us. He has part-time custody of his school-age child. He moved the two of them in with his girl friend and her child.

I expressed the opinion (just to my wife)  that a couple should not enter into a “living together” arrangement if there are children involved, unless it is intended to be permanent (ie: marriage.) What adults do to each other is their own business, and as far as I am concerned they can mess up their lives as much as they want. However, when children are involved it is another story. They do not control their lives. They must go with the whims of their parents. Casual live-in arrangements that are “here today, gone tomorrow” do nothing for the child except cause unneeded anxiety and insecurity in the most basic foundation of a child’s life, their family unit.  (If they are involved in this kind of situation to begin with, their family picture is already fragile.) The together-part may be fine, but the break-up has got to suck.

We got a call last night. Our young friend and his girlfriend had a big fight this weekend. He packed up his child and moved them both back in with his mom.

Sometimes I hate it when I’m right.