A bad Super Bowl joke

The Super Bowl is just a couple of days away. Here is a cute, but weak joke that plays on the old golf joke premise.

A man had 50-yard-line tickets for the Superbowl. As he sat down, a man came  along and asked  him if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

“No,” he said, “the seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their  right mind would have a seat like this for the Superbowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?”

Somberly, the man  says, “Well… the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we have not been to together since we got married in 1967.”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that, that’s terrible, but couldn’t you find  someone else – a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?”

The man shakes his head, “No,they’re at the funeral.”

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Goldfish funerals

One of my favorite fellow bloggers, Jana over at The Meanest Mom, has a post about her family’s recent goldfish funeral. It reminded me of a funny story from my childhood and an old, but still funny, joke.

When we were teens, my brother and I got my younger sisters a pair of goldfish for a present. As they always do, one eventually died. My brother wasn’t around when my Dad flushed the deceased pet. When he got home he asked me what had been done with the fish. I made a flushing motion with my hand and also an appropriate flushing sound-effect.

My brother was totally shocked. “Oh no! He didn’t?”

“What’s the big deal. He just flushed the dead fish down the toilet.”

“Oh. OK. that’s fine.I thought you meant he put it down the garbage disposal!”

I guess my brother should get credit for a vivid imagination. Yuk.

And speaking of dead goldfish, here is an oldie but goodie.

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbour was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your f_cking cat.”

A punny day

Is it November already? How did that happen?

Nothing much shaking today,  so I’ll offer you a silly little joke, courtesy of my friend,  Pam.

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, “Honey, I think I’m pregnant. We are going to have a little whisk broom!”

“IMPOSSIBLE !”  said the groom broom.

(Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt!)

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“We haven’t even SWEPT  together!”