New year’s resolutions and science jokes

This morning the alarm clock rang at 6:15 am for the first time since December 22. It could have waited a while longer, in my opinion. I was getting used to those sleep-ins.

It’s January 2 and time to return to work. Things are slow today. Officially, it’s not a holiday for us, but most of our staff is taking a vacation day to say home and watch football (I guess.) I have set my DVR to tape the Gators in the Gator Bowl and will watch it tonight when I get home. The game is between two 6-6 teams, so who really cares if they see it “live?”

Looking back on 2011, it’s been a pretty good year. Our family has been, for the most part, healthy and happy. The year had few down spots, and many good times. My trip to Europe in the spring was a great experience.

Myself and my brother at the Cathedral of Notre Dame

I hope to make another trip soon, his time with Mrs. Poolman (although the trip with Mrs. P will not entail the military history focus.)

In catching up on some news-related Web sites, I came across all kinds of “New Year’s Resolutions” topics. One really rang a bell with me. Take a look at this column. It’s worth a short read. I wonder if he would mind if I just adopt his as mine also.

One of our scientists sent me an email with a joke voted the funniest by a group of scientists.  “I thought this would give you some insight into the people you work with,” he said.

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

I had heard it before. Not great, but not as bad as it could be, like maybe something like this.

Q: Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?

A: Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

If you don’t “get it,” that’s OK. Most people not familiar with Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principal wouldn’t either.

On that weak note, here’s hoping everyone reading this has a great 2012!

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One more hat to wear

In my job, I am a bit of a “jack of all trades.” My official title is External Affairs Manager, but that doesn’t really tell you anything. I wear a bunch of different hats. Depending on the day and needs, I may be a:

• Writer
• Editor
• Photographer
• Publicist
• Spokesperson
• Designer
• Lobbyist
• Public Speaker
• News media contact
• Fundraiser
• Foundation director
• Customer service coordinator
• Tour guide

And on and on.

It’s probably for the best. I’m really not that good at any of those jobs, but I am “OK” at all of them.

Yesterday, I had a new role laid into my lap – baby sitter.

On the first day back from our holiday break, I was approached by one of our scientists. She was hosting a married-couple pair of visiting scientists, both of whom were going to present one-hour seminars to our science team that day. One was in the morning and the other in the afternoon. The problem was that they also had an 11-month old baby who needed a “sitter” while the parents were occupied. She had approached our administrative assistant, who has no children and is not very comfortable with them. Lila told her to go find me.

That’s how I met Clara.

As you can tell from her expression, Clara was not overjoyed at spending an hour or so in a strange place with a guy she never met before, but she got over it. She was a little cranky during the morning session, but it never got out of hand. When her mom brought her back for the afternoon session, she was sound asleep. She stayed that way until her parents came back to get her – thus proving once again Poolman’s First Law of Childrearing.

“Sleeping babies are always cute.”

The downside is that I’ve had people in and out of my office all day today asking about my hourly rates for baby sitting.

Very funny. No thanks. I have enough to do.