X-rated gardening

I have to confess. I have not been faithful to my wife. I have been spreading the pollen around to ones other than Mrs. Poolman. Funny thing – she doesn’t mind. The secret is out. I have been having sex with my tomato plants. Tomato 1

It’s been more than 20 years since I had a serious garden, but this year, I thought I would try some tomatoes. I planted these babies in mid-May. They have had plenty of water and fertilizer. I think I’m still missing two key ingredients. The first is enough strong sunlight. I thought I picked a good place to plant them, but I may have been wrong. Too much shade. Right now I’m looking at five plants, all a leggy five to six feet tall, but with only a few blossoms and maybe six small, green tomatoes.Tomato 2

The other thing that is missing is bees. We haven’t had a bunch of them this summer. I’m not exactly a horticultural expert, but as best I understand, the tomato plants need the bees to cross pollinate the plants. Otherwise, you get all flowers and no fruit. That’s where the tomato sex comes in. I don’t know if it actually works, but the idea is that you use your finger to rub the flowers from one plant to another, spreading the pollen among the plants as you go. Tomato 4

I hope it works, because Mrs. Poolman and I dearly love home-grown summer tomatoes. She’ll even forgive the temporary unfaithfulness for a fresh tomato sandwich.

Was it good for you my darling?

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5 responses to “X-rated gardening

  1. Tomatoes are mainly self pollinating. Usually just a little plant movement via the wind shakes the pollen to where it needs to be. Tomatoes are also quite resistant to cross-pollination due to the shape of their flowers.

    • Silly me. Oh well, so much for the extracurricular activities in the back yard. I guess I can tell the neighbors they can open their blinds. Thanks for the info!

  2. Your tomato-sex can’t hurt, in spite of what Jimmy Cracked-Corn thinks.

    You do know, of course, that you’re going to get all kinds of hits to your blog now that you’ve brought up the topic of garden porn!

  3. Pingback: Let the summer begin! « Another Beautiful Day in Paradise!

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