So how ya doin’? Don’t ask.

My fellow blogger “Hubby Diaries” wrote a post this week totally abusing her husband for having a “man cold” or “man flu.”

I know that stories are legendary among our female companions of men turning into total babies at the first hint of a sniffle or cough. I hope I’m not one of those. I typically come down with one cold a year, which usually degenerates into bronchitis. I try to ignore it for several weeks in the expectation my immune system will do what it is supposed to do and just make it go away. (What’s the point of all those little antibodies if they’re not doing their job?) Eventually, I end up at the doctor’s office to get a prescription for an antibiotic.  When I do run a fever and feel lousy, I just snuggle down on the couch and apologize to Mrs. Poolman for being such poor company.

However, for those members of the gentle sex who like to make fun of their ailing partners, I have a question. Which is worse – the occasional “man flu baby” or the chronic “I’m always feeling bad” whiner?

None of my male-friends ever complains about the way they feel.

“Hey, man, what happened to you?”

“Well, I coughed up a lung and left it in the passenger seat of my car, but I still have one left so I’m cool. So, what d’ya think about the game last night?”

On the other hand, I know any number of women for whom complaining about aches, pains and discomforts is a way of life.

“Hey, Mary, how are you?”

“Oh, I haven’t slept well in a week. My back aches. My neck hurts. I may be coming down with a migraine. And I think my uterus fell out last night. You know my doctor says I have a very sensitive disposition.”

I have several friends with whom I am very careful to never ask how they are. It’s not that I don’t care. Well, maybe it is. It’s just that, unless someone really is seriously ill or injured, the expression, “How are you?” is just a casual greeting, not a request for a health inventory.

Whatever you do, you must never react or respond to the complaints. To do so would only encourage them and subject you to a lengthy health history and prognosis.

“I really think these are all symptoms of dengue fever. I may have only days to live.”

“So, do you guys want to catch a movie tonight, or what?”

Here’s to hoping your 2012 is a healthy one! To quote another blog-friend, Terri, “Life is good!”


3 responses to “So how ya doin’? Don’t ask.

  1. Nice post! I get so tired of people, women particularly, criticizing men for how they “do” sick. Like you, I only get sick about once a year, and it’s always “just a cold” and it usually turns into Bronchitis… In fact on the tail end of that cycle now.

    You make an excellent point with this post!

  2. 🙂 Hey thanks for the shout out!

    I may have complaints about my husband, but how he behaves when he’s sick is not one of them. In fact, considering he doesn’t eat well, doesn’t sleep well (due to his crazy work schedule,) and doesn’t exercise, he remains amazingly healthy. And when he’s truly sick, he just goes to sleep and emerges when he’s feeling human again.

    I have a coworker who is a total hypochondriac. She’s always “got a migraine.” I want to tell her that people with migraines get sensitive to light and have so much pain they can barely stand up, much less function at work. But she still insists that she gets migraines.

    I know quite a few people who are always ailing. And I try very hard to avoid asking how they are doing!

  3. Glad I could provide you with some inspiration for a post…. LOL!

    I also think that part of the disconnect is that many men seem to only want to verbalize how they are “feeling” when they are sick. At least at my house, and with my BIL, and my guy friends… and ok, well, I guess it does seem to be too many men to list here!!

    You know a man has a “man cold” when his response to “How are you feeling” is more than “Fine”. Fine seems to suffice in just about any other conversation about “feelings” 🙂

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